Thursday, November 30, 2006
Hey you! I need your help. Please VOTE for my friend, Sha, for this year ARTIC Image Model Search. Just text: ARTIC Sha and send it to 2929. Please pass it on to your friends, too. It'll be a big help. Thanks in advance!
*If you buy one (1) ARTIC Vodka Bottle from participating bars/stores, you get a STUB worth 1000 votes. Just text it to Sha’s name – that’ll be a bigger help! Thanks again.
loved // Deens //
Friday, November 10, 2006
This was actually 2 days ago and I've decided to take a break from writing but what the hell.
I left my cellphone and my newly validated ID in the taxi I was in. I only realized it when Jiza and I were walking in Eastwood already. The thing is, I wasn't really bummed about it and I didn't really understand why at first. We went to Pancake House to eat and I started calling the cellphone. It was ringing, and that was always a good sign. I rang it for the millionth time and finally the driver answered. I pleaded for him to bring the cellphone back to Ateneo and he agreed. Of course, I would have to pay for his gas, which was around P200. That was fine with me. And so, all was well.
The thing I realized about it is that there are so many good people in the world it's amazing how much people don't trust anymore. Everything is just considered so evil nowadays; janitors and taxi drivers are criminals where ever they go, and the white collar workers are never accused of any crimes. It's disheartening, really. Sometimes I feel the masks we put on are merely 1% of our true bein, and all you need is a shifting of your personality to be accepted in society. I never lost hope in that taxi driver and he didn't fail me. Some people should learn to trust more, lest they turn into bitter, closed individuals that go through life wondering what they did wrong when in fact it's just right there in front of them.
loved // Deens //
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Vindicated.
I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right. I swear I knew it all along and I am flawed.
Sums up the 1st semester.
On to the 2nd half of expected hell.
But I am guided by the wings of the Holy One.
But I am cleaning up so well. I am seeing in me now the things You swear You saw Yourself.
My defense is no longer paper thin. It's already been torn apart into shreds of tiny minute particles lost in the wind.
For this reason, I AM FLAWED. And I've realized this is what I need to find the urge to live again.
loved // Deens //
Thursday, October 05, 2006
I completely feel like SHIT.
Pure, unadulterated, brown, yucky, icky, SHIT.
The kind that makes you want to puke.
Really.
I'm still sick. And I hate the feeling.
And I'm still wondering if it's purely physical.
loved // Deens //
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Parang maganda yung survey namin sa Statistics class. Is there a correlation between happiness and wealth, physical attractiveness, relationships with people?
Oo nga naman.
Maybe that would explain why materialism is soooo in nowadays. Anyway, konting tiis nalang IN ALL ASPECTS. Kaya mahirap eh. Pero at least yung iba matatapos na rin this week. Kaya good.
Galing eh noh?
Ano pa kayang pagsubok ang darating sa buhay ko? At sa relasyon natin?
Hindi ako mapakali.
Masaya ako na nasa puso't isipan natin ang totoong ibig sabihin ng pagmamahal.
I love you Jize. Really. :D
loved // Deens //
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
The thought of tomorrow coming brings mixed feelings of relief and anxiety. For one, it will all be over. Filipino will no longer mean long verses of the Pasyon, and the Noli Me Tangere. It will mean new things and new chapters in my education in Filipino.
Yehey.
Yahoo.
Lotsssss of emotion.
loved // Deens //
Monday, September 25, 2006
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, with open arms and open eyes.
YEAH.
loved // Deens //
Thursday, September 21, 2006
I am weak.
I am that one hit wonder, ever emanating one single tune. I am that lazily thrown basketball, resulting in an embarassing airball. I am that stumble while running up the steps. I am that beat down car which basically runs on pure faith. I am that smiley which keeps curling his lips up and down (:-S) I am that unsharpened pencil, that overused eraser, that blunt sword, that rusty gate. I am all that.
Plus I'm a hothead.
God sometimes I wish I could strangle myself.
loved // Deens //
Sunday, September 17, 2006
I want to laugh like it's all a dream and in a minute, I'll wake up.
*after a minute*
Fuck. It's real.
loved // Deens //
Saturday, September 16, 2006
| The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy |
 In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho |
loved // Deens //
For months now I've been learning to deal with change. I have come to realize truly that it indeed is inevitable. What matters is how you roll with it. How you roll with it depends on you. You could whine and lock yourself up in a room. You could go out and have a drink until you get all whoozy. You could play basketball and score a hundred points in a span of a billion hours. You could drive all around the world until you get sick of seeing the Taj Mahal for the gazillionth time. You could do everything this world can offer, but in the end, it still wouldn't be enough to calm yourself down. The fact of the matter is, change is there no matter how you deal with it. It will always come, it won't care if you're ready or not, it just will come. Sometimes people deal with it very well as if they expected it to arrive at any second. Others don't. They simply cringe at the thought of change coming.
I am currently trying to categorize myself. I don't know if I need change in my life but I still am trying to find myself again. I am at a loss.
Don't worry, I'm alright. I just think too much sometimes. And my temper gets the best of me. I am the best and worst ass you've ever seen.
You'll understand if you know me very well. If you don't, well it's not a loss, nor is it a gain.
Off to try to make sense of things now.
loved // Deens //
Friday, September 15, 2006
I learned something new about myself today. It can't be stopped by anyone since it is natural human reaction.
I, Danilo Villafuerte Alcoseba, am becoming the jealous type.
I do not know when or where is started (or maybe I do), but slowly, something about the things happening are starting to irk me quite a little bit.
It's very hard to see you dancing with some guy. Okay, okay, okay. I know that there's nothing to fear, and that I trust you with my whole heart, but that doesn't stop me from wondering about that dance. I'm sure you have fun with him. I'm sure it's a great great time for CERSA and what-not. And I'm proud of you. SO MUCH. It's just that this whole thing is new for me, and I'm just not used to seeing you dancing with some guy. I just need time to put things in the right perspective.
In other things, I just realized that I can't do anything special. I can't swim well, heck I can't even swim at all. I can't row. I can't dance. I can't sing. I can't get top honors in class. I can't dress well. I can't balance everything.
But you.
You make me feel as if I have a talent. And sometimes I feel as if I'm holding you back from the things you can experience. You have tons of talent. You can be anything you want to be. And me? I'm just the run-of-the-mill guy who happened to fall in love with a princess. I'm mediocre. I'm weak. I'm nothing you would look for. I'm ordinary.
Sometimes I really doubt whether I'm still that same guy you fell in love with 1 and a half years ago.
Sorry.. drama lang. EMO amputa.
loved // Deens //
My QPI isn't looking so good.
loved // Deens //
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
1 year means it is truly promising.
I can't wait for more years to come.
X to the N years means we've rolled with life's punches, dealt with disappointments and we've still come out very very very well.
I love you. (at the risk of sounding cheesy)
Sorry late post. Pretty hectic week since Saturday happened.
loved // Deens //
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Due to the unfortunate incident that had just befallen on the College, I suddenly recall a certain phrase that came to my attention in the High School: Be a Transforming Difference.
I never really met him `til this one time in the Fair of 05. The Accounting Committee of the fair was having problems because there wasn't enough change to dole out to the entrance booth of the fair. In the midst of our grumblings, Nikki quietly strolled in and offered to drive. I obliged to join him. And of we went.
He didn't know me very well, but I saw the fire in him to serve. I saw the passion that he didn't need to speak about for me to feel. I saw the burning desire to do something, anything to help people. He had a natural tendency to reach out, and for me, that was so amazing.
Maybe that's the reason why God has called him, for bigger and brighter things up there in heaven.
Rest in Peace Nikki. We will always strive for that Trans Diff you spoke of.
loved // Deens //
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
There are times in life when you just need to accept that you can't do everything right all the time. That's how you learn, you face dissapointments, struggles, obstacles, en route to being a much better person.
That's how my everyday is lived.
I do not look at my mistakes as let-downs. On the contrary, I build on them. I am human, and I suck sometimes. But I can be the best at other times too. This polar opposite description of myself seems to bring about what I really want to say.
Today, I can truly say that I tried my best, but it just wasn't good enough. I studied to the best of my ability, but there are still some things that I have to take care of but can't due to the lack of time. It's 3 in the morning and I have to read 900+ stanzas of the Pasyon ng Mahal of Gaspar Aquino de Belen, which I currently am trying to find summaries to. I probably won't be able to read it, but hey, I had a long test in Psychology to take care of. So, with around 5 hours and a half til my impending failure in that big 30 point quiz, I have this to say.
ACADS LANG YAN. Di yan buhay.
loved // Deens //
Thursday, August 24, 2006
This needs to stop. RIGHT NOW.
I should stop feeling insecure about myself.
She loves me. She loves me. She loves me.
So why should it matter that she's watching basketball right now, right?
I DO NOT KNOW. BUT IT DOES.
Why the freak am I feeling this way.
loved // Deens //
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
What are your highs and lows?
What is the world's high and low?
I was disturbed today by that very thought. What am I doing with my life? Where am I headed? Sometimes I feel like my life is headed nowhere. Other times I feel like I'm finally getting some direction. I need to act now, plan my life ahead of time, else I risk being taken away by time.
Is there the MORE in my life? Am I doing something that takes me away from apathy and numb feelings? Sadly, I feel I do not exhibit the same vigor and passion that used to come out of me effortlessly in my senior year.
What does the world seen in me? Am I its puppet, aimlessly going around whereever it wants me? Or am I its respected peer, able to do anything and everything?
Disturb me, o Lord. I do not know the way.
loved // Deens //
Saturday, August 19, 2006
There it goes again.
Every single time.
The drum beat gets louder.
The symphony is suddenly reduced to a sound in the wind.
The day just doesn't end happily.
loved // Deens //
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Change is inevitable.
Like getting sunny days, then rain moments after.
Like getting a brand new Mazda 6 then crashing it as you exit the dealership.
Like life.
Change is life.
I hope you know what it is I'm feeling.
Parang wala na talaga akong magawa para mabalik ang nakaraan.
loved // Deens //
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Sometimes I wonder if my education is sufficient to get me through life.
I can't help but think that I am so uneducated about the real world I cringe at the thought of college ending (not that it's ending anytime soon). I just have a feeling I'll be a deer in the headlights, just waiting and staring as the car of the real world hits my nubile body and elevates it fifty feet up in the air, nowhere to be seen again. I'm scared to live a life outside of my school. I'm sure the so called "real world" is just waiting for its chance to pounce on my defenseless senses. I'll probably have to get ready for a life in a trash bin.
But on the other hand, the decade of Jesuit education could be enough. And I'll be looking forward to years and years of success. I'll have that flashy two seater BMW, with matching cool shades, driving the roads of Loyola Grand Villas greeting everyone. I'll have great kids who will excel in just about everything they set their minds onto. I'll probably have to get ready for this luxurious lifestyle.
It's all about faith in the end.
loved // Deens //
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Should. learn. to. accept. things. don't. go. as. planned. everytime.
I'm practically failing everything in sight it's a wonder my brain still works.
But I can reassure myself. I'm a slow starter. Soon I will get better grades.
Shet. GRADE CONSCIOUS pala ako. RAR.
loved // Deens //
Monday, July 31, 2006
Don't you get the feeling sometimes of just wanting to be something you can never be?
I just want to get up one day and become a monkey. I'd love to flourish in the soil and nobody would call me disgusting or dirty, they'd just accept me for who I was. I'd be running around the terrain, pretending I was some superhero, bouncing up and down the path tearing everything in sight. I'd get mad and bust up some tree, and no one would call me exaggerating because every single one of us could admit to doing exactly the same thing in any of our lifetimes.
Monkey = Good times.
Para bang High School.
"Monkeying around". Hahaha.:D
loved // Deens //
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I failed again.
I should stop expecting too much out of myself.
Putangina. Putangina.
Naiinis nanaman ako sa sarili ko.
loved // Deens //
Monday, July 24, 2006
Tayo'y sumayaw na parang di na tayo bibitaw..
That dance spoke volumes of the people we would become. We danced the night away, along with our half steps on that dance floor. I never felt so alive before.
Parang atin ang gabi..
There was nothing I couldn't do that night. I possessed the whole world, and it was composed of you, me, and the little square where we made into our little heaven. I can still remember it like it was yesterday.
I was the shining knight who could no wrong. You were the princess who seemed to flutter gracefully with every step. Pretty amazing for a few hours called a Graduation Ball.
If I could freeze a moment in time, and watch it all over again, that would definitely be the scene.
Perfect imperfection.
Parang atin ang gabi, parang wala tayong katabi, at tayo'y sumayaw, na parang di na tayo bibitaw..
Things like those don't come to every person.
What I'd give to have it back.
loved // Deens //
Friday, July 21, 2006
The separation between men and boys began today.
I hope I'm a man.
loved // Deens //
Thursday, July 20, 2006
It's weird but I need a break.
I'm doing nothing, but I need my friends. It's hard not being able to talk to them anymore. Sure, my classmates are there, but there's still a void only MK can fill.
Saturday parties aren't enough. I want a week off from school to be with you guys every single day.
If only it was possible, and if only I was that crazy.
Sometimes I can't help but think if life really was made to be this way.
Why do we all study our lives away?
I don't believe anything I'm doing right now matters. I don't believe my actions right now will affect the person I will become. I believe the future is completely different from the present.
And as I write this blog as a convenient break from analyzing this freakishly simple-but-terrible short story for my Heights interview, I wonder how in the world am I going to last on this earth.
It's scary, really.
loved // Deens //
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Dino -- [noun]: A person who has the ability to be invisible 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
loved // Deens //
Saya kahapon. Yun na yun.
It's funny how time just flies by so fast. Parang kahapon lang ako pumunta sa debut ni Bear, and then wham, it's her 19th already.
I just realized, after proms, graduation balls, and debuts, the next thing to go to is a wedding. Parang everything's so clustered, then suddenly, a decade passes before some friend or kabarkada gets married. Parang ang tagal ng hihintayin mo. Wala lang. They should make some sort of a middle celebration, so that you wouldn't have to wait a million years before the next time people would dress up and go to some fancy venue to gaze in awe and admiration at the celebrants.
Madaya rin, walang ganyan yung guys. Why shouldn't guy be allowed to celebrate their life? Where's the presentation? Or the great speeches? Or the symbolic gifts? It's replaced by a Vodka Cruiser in hand and a PS2 controller in another. I just find it odd that the 18th debut is such a grand event while the 21st whatever you call it is reduced to an inuman session, just like any other party.
But you know what, I couldn't ask for more really. These friends I have are enough to last lifetimes. I'd go through hell for you guys, and I'm sure you know that.
And I'm saying this for real. WALANG IWANAN. And I mean it.
Borax III na `to. + Pau, Nic, Rai, Ner, and Kring. :D
loved // Deens //
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Minsan feeling ko ang supot ng course ko. Hindi naman sa may problema yung course, o hindi quality education ang nakukuha ko. It's just that sometimes when I have nothing to do, I just sit down and wonder why college is so stressful for most of my classmates. I mean, they're our studying their butts off in ME, or MGT-H, or just simply dealing with the harrowing threat of Accounting, and here I am, twiddling my thumbs, waking up at 1 in the morning to do a paper which I probably will get a B or B+ in. The thing is, though that may be a good grade, parang hindi na ata magis ang battlecry ko.
Sometimes I can't help but think if I could have done better in a different course, like Comm, or Comm Tech. I guess I miss the boggled mindset, when all you can do with this specific lesson is just bang your notebook on your head in frustration. As violent as that may have seemed, I miss it. Terribly.
Hindi rin naman sa hindi bagay ang Psychology sa akin. I like Psychology. It's really really interesting for me. It's just that I like so many other things as well. Kaya yun, I still ponder about my decision to go into the course not really considered to be the course to be in if you want to rake in millions. I don't know, maybe it's just me.
Am I doing the more Ateneo is asking me of? Parang hindi kasi eh. I'm immersing myself in the co-curriculars, but sometimes, it's not enough for me.
Or maybe it is just me. I just want to matter to the outside world. I can't help but think that I'll be the only one stuck jobless while all my classmates are going to rise up the corporate ladder and I'll be left to pick up their scraps.
Sana talaga maging maayos future ko. And that's not just in the job scene.
It's amazing how a single gesture can just change your whole day. :)
loved // Deens //
Friday, July 07, 2006
Ayoko na pinangungunahan mo kami.
I can't believe you said that.
I'm so PISSED at you right now.
The day you let me go will be my HAPPIEST DAY ever.
loved // Deens //
Thursday, July 06, 2006
-If there is one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal.-
loved // Deens //
You scored as Murder. You would most likely kill someone, so watch out mr.anger management.
What crime would you most likely commit? created with QuizFarm.com |
loved // Deens //
Monday, July 03, 2006
I don't know how to tell you how much I miss you. Everytime we don't talk on the phone I just remember the times I always had you a call away.
I miss that.
But there's nothing I can do.
Wala naman talaga akong magagawa kasi nasa dorm ka. At alam kong dapat nagseseryoso na tayo kasi second year na, pero...
Miss na kita eh.
The spontaneous dates, the laughtrips, the conversations while having our 3 hour break...
The hugs.. The smiles.. Us.
I wish you were here. Terribly.
I know you're my blockmate and I'm with you every single class, it's different to be a classmate and a boyfriend. There's a part of me that just wants to hold your hand and experience the beautiful serenity of silence only you and I can share, and there's this other half that stays quiet and takes all your stress in and understands that you need every bit of patience because I know how much you're going through.
I still miss you though, and I don't think that's ever going to change.
It's 2 in the morning and I have an 830 class. I just finished writing down a Filipino paper, and I just had to say these things before I drift of to dreamland, one where I can be alone with you, but the reality is that there's just going to be too many things happening for us to even have 10 minutes of alone time.
Until then, I'll just keep saying I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
loved // Deens //
Friday, June 30, 2006
I love my mom to death but she can be such a ^%^%^%$%#%$#&*^% sometimes.
It annoys me TO DEATH.
I can't understand why she just can't seem to accept I'm growing up.
POTANGINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
I needed to let that fucking scream out of my head.
loved // Deens //
There comes a point in everyone's life wherein he has to stop, look around, and be amazed by the world. It happened to me in a very strange occassion. There was nothing special going on, I was just asked by my mother to buy something in the grocery. And as I went out of the car, I was taken aback by the clouds. Funny as it may sound, I gazed in awe.
It's amazing how man can still get sudden bursts of appreciation at the most unexpected times.
loved // Deens //
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
It's getting preeeeeeeettttttyyyyyyy hard to bear.
Buti nalang one week lang `to.
I want to be selfish and take you away from everything that's bothering us.
Hay.. :(
loved // Deens //
Sunday, June 25, 2006
I have always been told that the world is not a safe place, and that you should not trust anyone in it. But I choose to be optimistic about it. I believe we live in a world full of promise and potential. There are lots of resources and useful materials people use to make life on earth bearable. Humans can find ways to make things work like no other organism on earth can. Unfortunately, we have different motivations and different wants in life. This is why there is an endless struggle for power. Talented people waste their lives striving for more, when they could just settle for less and make the world a better place to live in. The world is a place of very promising and giving people, but a malignant disease envelops them. The daunting task of my generation is to take all of this negativity and act. As of now though, I am not so sure I can.
Who am I to the world, I sometimes catch myself asking. Why must I care about it? I am a minute individual with absolutely no control over what will happen to it. But then again, I am one who can start the fire. The only reason why there isn’t any progress in this world is because the good people just stand by and do nothing while the evil men are just left to their own devices. I know I do not know much about how the world is, and I am just a Filipino who is taking up a Sociology and Anthropology class in the Ateneo, but I feel I should know more. I do not want to grow up making the same mistakes everyone does. I do not want to be common in the eyes of people who know me. I want to stand out and really mean something to this world. As of now, I don’t really know how. But I will learn new things, and eventually will do something that will shape the course of history, no matter how small.
loved // Deens //
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
The first and second days of school as a sophomore induced feelings of happiness and enthusiasm for me weeks ago. I looked forward to it like a basketball fan looks forward to sitting at courtside for the NBA Finals. I always said, "wala namang ginagawa sa bahay eh" or "gusto ko na mag-aral", but as these two days have come and gone, I'm starting to get uneasy.
Actually there's only one thing I'm worried about. I'm deathly scared of my Filipino teacher who seems to be speaking a whole new different language which is definitely not the Filipino I speak. To top it all off, she's the chairperson of her department. I expect big and bright things for this subject.
She gave us our first reading yesterday and can I just say, zzzzz... But I managed to understand the first page. So, 10 more pages to go today. Haha.
Woooosaaaahhhhhh.:)
loved // Deens //
Saturday, June 17, 2006
I miss you.
Pero sana naman inayos muna natin bago binaba yung telepono.
Oh well.
Nothing more to do but suck it up and go.
C'est la vie. I have to understand.
loved // Deens //
Friday, June 16, 2006
Do you ever get that feeling of depression even though nothing's wrong? I get that some days. I tend to just sit down, or stare at the ceiling and think about it. I just feel that there's something lacking in my life. I used to be full of vigor and passion, but lately it seems that the fire has run out. Did I exhaust it too much? Am I suffering from a severe case of burnout? I used to think people who were doing worthy causes never ran out of reasons to serve. I guess I was wrong, heck I'm living proof. I want a break from doing "good things" in my life. I want to let loose and not have a care in the world again. I'm running out of reasons to be active. Help me, especially that I'm not really in a position to quit anymore. I'll just have to gut it out, and see what happens.
How does it feel to be everything I need?
We need to help each other this year. You're so full of fire, and mine is burning out. Mind sharing some with me? I want to fall in love with my organization, like you have. I just don't feel it right now. It's a good thing you're with me though, I don't think I can take this alone. I love you. I really do. These are the most sincere words I've ever said. I mean it. I don't understand how we seem to have little misunderstandings but end up holding hands. We're not normal, it's absurd. But I love that. I'd hate to be normal with you. This isn't common. What we have is enough to last a lifetime, even more than one lifetime. And if I live another life, I would still meet you again. It isn't fate, nor is it destiny. It's pure faith, in our love, and our connection. When I hug you, no one could fit in my arms better than you. I know it's you.
How does it feel? :)
loved // Deens //
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
(90) Things I Have Lived Through
(Put numbers instead of x's [1, 2, 3, 4...].)
[1] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[ ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[] I have been to Canada.
[ ] I have been to Europe.
[2] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[3] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[4] I have played ping pong.
[5] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[6] I have seen fireworks.
[7] I have seen a shooting star.
[ ] I have seen a meteor shower.
[ 8] I have almost drowned.
[9] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[10] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[11] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[12] I have stayed up til 2 (and beyond) doing homework/projects. (uh, duh, it’s a lifestyle)
[ ] I have been ice skating.
[ ] I have been rollerblading.
[13] I have fallen flat on my face.
[14] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[15] I have been in a fist fight.
[16] I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight. OF COURSE. Who doesn't?:)
[17] I have watched the power rangers.
[ 18] I attend Church regularly.
[19] I have played truth or dare.
[20] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[21] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[22] I've called someone stupid.
[23] I've been in a verbal argument.
[24] I've cried in school. Over fucking math. Hahaha.
[25] I've played basketball on a team. PE
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team. Intrams
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[ ] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[26] I've played volleyball on a team. (PE)
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track or cross country team.
[ ] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[ ] I've climbed a rock wall.
[ ] I've lost more than $20
[27] I've called myself an idiot.
[28] I've called someone else an idiot.
[ 29] I've cried myself to sleep.
[30] I've had (or have) pets. I had cats but my mom just put them in a sack and gave them away. :(
[ ] I've owned a spice girls CD/cassette.
[ ] I've owned a britney spears CD.
[31 ] I've owned an N*Sync CD.
[ 32] I've owned a backstreet boys CD.
[ ] I've mooned someone.
[33] I have sworn/yelled at someone of authority before.
[ ] I've been in the newspaper.
[ ] I've been on TV. if you ever get to see that michelle branch video filmed in dish nadon kami! hahaha. and mentos barkada back in high school. ROWDY.
[ ] I've been to Hawaii.
[34] I've eaten sushi. (mandatory Japanese dish)
[ ] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[ ] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[ ] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies. DUN DUN DUN
[ ] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[ 35] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[36] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.
[37] I've been called a geek.
[38] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[39] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[ ] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[ ] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[40] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[41] I've written poetry.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[42] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
[ ] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[ ] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[43] I've had/have siblings.
[44] I've been to a rock concert.
[45] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[46] I've been in a play. (Sarhento Dino)
[ ] I've been picked last in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[ 47] I've cried in front of my friends.
[ ] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[ ] I've played Halo 2.
[48] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[ ] I've been to Alaska.
[ ] I've been to China.
[ ] I've been to Spain.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[49] I've had a fight with someone on AIM/MSN.
[50] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[51] I've had serious conversations on any IM.
[52] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[53] I've been forgiven.
[54] I've screamed at a scary movie.
[ 55] I've cried at a chick flick.
[56] I've watched a lot of action movies. (spy-action are intriguing)
[57] I've screamed at the top of my lungs. kaso shooooort
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.
[ ] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[58] I've lived in more than 2 houses.
[ ] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[59] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[60] I've been in a car accident. My mom freaked out and shouted at the lady, who in a few years would turn out to be my friend's mom. Haha.
[ ] I've done drugs.
[61] I've been homesick.
[62] I've thrown up.
[ ] I've puked on someone.
[63] I've gone horseback riding.
[64] I've filled out more than 10 MySpace/LJ surveys.
[65] I've spoken my mind in public.
[66] I've proven someone wrong.
[67] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[ ] I've broken a leg.
[ ] I've broken an arm.
[68] I've fallen off a swing.
[ ] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight
[ ] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[69] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.
[70] I've lost my backpack.
[71] I've come close to dying.
[ ] I've seen someone die.
[72] I've known someone who has died.
[73] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.
[ ] I've done modeling.
[74] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[75] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[76] I've realized how good my life is.
[77] I've counted my blessings.
[78] I've made fun of a classmate.
[ ] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.
[79] I've slapped someone in the face.
[ ] I've been skateboarding.
[80 ] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[81] I've lied to someone to their face.
[82] I've told a little white lie.
[ ] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.
[ ] I've fainted.
[ ] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[ ] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[ ] I've been pushed into a pool.
[83] I've been/am in love.
KAWAWA NAMAN AKO. 83 lang. :( Boohoo. i need a life. Haha.
loved // Deens //
Monday, June 12, 2006
I live in a world where I feel no harm every single day. I can say that I am well protected, and fed very well by people who love me. There's nothing more I can ask for. Some could say that I have a perfect life, one that doesn't have problems at all. But today I was pretty juggled.
Am I at peace, one of our core members asked rhetorically. That meant a million things, and could have been answered by a million answers. I expected my brain to answer a big "yes", but strangely, it didn't. I felt the pain she shared when she talked about her personal problems, and even though we didn't really see eye to eye on a lot of things, I empathized with her for that moment. I wanted to cry, but as the unemotional guy that I am, the tears didn't come out. I wanted to make her feel wanted. But, I just sat there, with my hands on my forehead, devoid of any emotions. I wasn't at peace with running, I realized that then and there. But I knew I had to. And that was all that mattered I guess. It is up to this group to rescue the fallen ashes of this once great organization. It won't be an easy task, but with God anything is possible.
I just realized that this is the first time I ever mentioned God in this site. Welcome, God.:)
loved // Deens //
Friday, June 09, 2006
Okay. I've been erasing meaningless attempts at writing a deep and philosophical entry for the past hour so I'll just continue my Holden Caulfield style. Bear with me. The magic isn't there yet.
The more school is nearing the more I'm getting excited. This is a new thing for me, to get pumped up at getting to that first class, or meeting that new teacher who could turn out into a terror everyone would hate, or the one who practically saved the class from another killer subject by giving straight A's to everyone. This is the start of something good. Let's just hope I feel the pressure of being a college student and worry more about my studies. Sometimes I'll probably pick playing Dota over studying for some quiz but overall, I should be burning my eyelids off to get that elusive Dean's List. I don't have to get there, but I want to. MORE THAN EVER. It isn't comforting to see your blockmate get into the Dean's List when you know you could have done so much more to reach where she is. That could be my light of inspiration. I probably need a diligent blockmate who seems to know everything. That way, I would be forced to study because I'd want to know what she knows. Mm.. Sounds like a good plan.
Hay. I love life. There's nothing to it but to do it.
loved // Deens //
Galing Kay Nin..
the first player of this game starts with the "6 weird things/habits about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog of their 6 weird habits/things, as well as state this rule clearly.. in the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names...
1.) When I go to communion, I line up where the priest gives the host even though that line is longer.
2.) My course is AB Psychology but I have a dream to take up a minor in Math. Haha.
3.) When I was a kid, I used to listen to slow, senti songs. Imagine at 6 years old singing On Bended Knee. Hahaha.
4.) My dream is to wake up one morning and decide to fly to Singapore with a dozen friends.
5.) I'm deathly scared of the water.
6.) I'd love to read women's minds. Hahahaha.
I TAG...
1) Nicole Sarmiento
2) Bear Reyes
3) Yumi Mortel
4) Cat Chan
5) Pau Advincula
6) Luis Vega
loved // Deens //
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
In a week or so I will be entering the second phase of my College life. I expect things to be unexpected. Things will be constantly changing. It will be something worth experiencing. I'm excited. My throat is tensing up. This is probably the first time in my entire life that I'm actually eager to learn. I can't wait to immerse myself in books. I'd love to be educated.
This is also the second phase of my relationship with Jiza. And in 2 days it will be our 9th month officially. We'll definitely go through everything together. This blockmate thing isn't a hindrance to missing each other. I'm actually finding it easier to study and concentrate when she's so diligent and responsible. It's hard not to get hooked to studying with her around. I hope to see myself (and her as well) on the Dean's List. I'll be working my butt of this semester. Heck, that's what I tell myself everytime, but it never pans out.
Target QPI: 4.00.
loved // Deens //
Monday, June 05, 2006
I never imagined drinking being one way our barkada to throw away life's problems for just a single day, in fact, for a single second. It's just happened, been happening actually. What can I say, it's fun. It allows us to unwind for a few hours. It reminds us that we are kids and that life shouldn't be taken too seriously that we get a little bit too old for our ages. The nice thing about it is that no one actually gets drunk. It's simply a drinking session with no risk involved. That is, if you don't have allergies *WINK*. Jiza once told me that drinking is a social lubricant. It binds people together no matter what. That's probably why there are lots of people in bars. Everyone's looking for something to hold on to. Some are probably looking at people to save them. Others simply just want to let loose and go crazy after an insanely stressful day. No matter what their reasons are, in the end everyone is just looking for something. Life really is about looking and holding on and grasping what is there right in front of you. Now that alcohol has run through my system, I have this to say. I used to hold it against people who drank. Now I don't, for the reason that I too have problems, and I too want to get away from it all. As long as it doesn't ruin your life, drinking is a pretty okay way to forget. It's better than holding it in and letting life get to you, right?
Here's to life, and about taking the shots.
loved // Deens //
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
I guess this is what makes us Catholics, and humans for that matter.
Maybe the Prodigal Son isn't such a bad story after all.
loved // Deens //
Friday, June 02, 2006
I'm not sad. I'm not depressed. I don't have emotional outbursts anymore. There's nothing for me to vent about and this is why my writing is suffering. I can't seem to write well about happy experiences in my life. I tend to dwell on the dreary and gloomy times, where the emotions are so real and intense that one cannot even begin to describe the feeling. I focus on angst, and build on it to make a cohesive and controversial entry. Sadly, that hasn't happened the past few weeks. I miss writing. I miss having my own sick, sad, twisted world where I rule and what I say is law. I miss listening to emo songs and finding lyrics to best describe my situation. I want to find the chaos back in my life. I believe it gives me direction and heightens my zest for life.
Until then there's nothing more to do that post useless and senseless blubbers. Oh well.
loved // Deens //
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I have always been told that the world is not a safe place, and that you should not trust anyone in it. But I choose to be optimistic about it. I believe we live in a world full of promise and potential. There are lots of resources and useful materials people use to make life on earth bearable. Humans can find ways to make things work like no other organism on earth can. Unfortunately, we have different motivations and different wants in life. This is why there is an endless struggle for power. Talented people waste their lives striving for more, when they could just settle for less and make the world a better place to live in. The world is a place of very promising and giving people, but a malignant disease envelops them. The daunting task of my generation is to take all of this negativity and act. As of now though, I am not so sure I can.
Who am I to the world, I sometimes catch myself asking. Why must I care about it? I am a minute individual with absolutely no control over what will happen to it. But then again, I am one who can start the fire. The only reason why there isn’t any progress in this world is because the good people just stand by and do nothing while the evil men are just left to their own devices. I know I do not know much about how the world is, and I am just a Filipino who is taking up a Sociology and Anthropology class in the Ateneo, but I feel I should know more. I do not want to grow up making the same mistakes everyone does. I do not want to be common in the eyes of people who know me. I want to stand out and really mean something to this world. As of now, I don’t really know how. But I will learn new things, and eventually will do something that will shape the course of history, no matter how small.
loved // Deens //