Wednesday, August 30, 2006
There are times in life when you just need to accept that you can't do everything right all the time. That's how you learn, you face dissapointments, struggles, obstacles, en route to being a much better person.
That's how my everyday is lived.
I do not look at my mistakes as let-downs. On the contrary, I build on them. I am human, and I suck sometimes. But I can be the best at other times too. This polar opposite description of myself seems to bring about what I really want to say.
Today, I can truly say that I tried my best, but it just wasn't good enough. I studied to the best of my ability, but there are still some things that I have to take care of but can't due to the lack of time. It's 3 in the morning and I have to read 900+ stanzas of the Pasyon ng Mahal of Gaspar Aquino de Belen, which I currently am trying to find summaries to. I probably won't be able to read it, but hey, I had a long test in Psychology to take care of. So, with around 5 hours and a half til my impending failure in that big 30 point quiz, I have this to say.
ACADS LANG YAN. Di yan buhay.
loved // Deens // 2:56:00 AM
Thursday, August 24, 2006
This needs to stop. RIGHT NOW.
I should stop feeling insecure about myself.
She loves me. She loves me. She loves me.
So why should it matter that she's watching basketball right now, right?
I DO NOT KNOW. BUT IT DOES.
Why the freak am I feeling this way.
loved // Deens // 8:41:00 PM
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
What are your highs and lows?
What is the world's high and low?
I was disturbed today by that very thought. What am I doing with my life? Where am I headed? Sometimes I feel like my life is headed nowhere. Other times I feel like I'm finally getting some direction. I need to act now, plan my life ahead of time, else I risk being taken away by time.
Is there the MORE in my life? Am I doing something that takes me away from apathy and numb feelings? Sadly, I feel I do not exhibit the same vigor and passion that used to come out of me effortlessly in my senior year.
What does the world seen in me? Am I its puppet, aimlessly going around whereever it wants me? Or am I its respected peer, able to do anything and everything?
Disturb me, o Lord. I do not know the way.
loved // Deens // 11:48:00 PM
Saturday, August 19, 2006
There it goes again.
Every single time.
The drum beat gets louder.
The symphony is suddenly reduced to a sound in the wind.
The day just doesn't end happily.
loved // Deens // 11:24:00 PM
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Change is inevitable.
Like getting sunny days, then rain moments after.
Like getting a brand new Mazda 6 then crashing it as you exit the dealership.
Like life.
Change is life.
I hope you know what it is I'm feeling.
Parang wala na talaga akong magawa para mabalik ang nakaraan.
loved // Deens // 3:17:00 AM
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Sometimes I wonder if my education is sufficient to get me through life.
I can't help but think that I am so uneducated about the real world I cringe at the thought of college ending (not that it's ending anytime soon). I just have a feeling I'll be a deer in the headlights, just waiting and staring as the car of the real world hits my nubile body and elevates it fifty feet up in the air, nowhere to be seen again. I'm scared to live a life outside of my school. I'm sure the so called "real world" is just waiting for its chance to pounce on my defenseless senses. I'll probably have to get ready for a life in a trash bin.
But on the other hand, the decade of Jesuit education could be enough. And I'll be looking forward to years and years of success. I'll have that flashy two seater BMW, with matching cool shades, driving the roads of Loyola Grand Villas greeting everyone. I'll have great kids who will excel in just about everything they set their minds onto. I'll probably have to get ready for this luxurious lifestyle.
It's all about faith in the end.
loved // Deens // 8:10:00 AM
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Should. learn. to. accept. things. don't. go. as. planned. everytime.
I'm practically failing everything in sight it's a wonder my brain still works.
But I can reassure myself. I'm a slow starter. Soon I will get better grades. I HOPE SO I HOPE SO I HOPE SO.
Shet. GRADE CONSCIOUS pala ako. RAR.
loved // Deens // 8:47:00 PM
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