Monday, July 31, 2006
Don't you get the feeling sometimes of just wanting to be something you can never be?
I just want to get up one day and become a monkey. I'd love to flourish in the soil and nobody would call me disgusting or dirty, they'd just accept me for who I was. I'd be running around the terrain, pretending I was some superhero, bouncing up and down the path tearing everything in sight. I'd get mad and bust up some tree, and no one would call me exaggerating because every single one of us could admit to doing exactly the same thing in any of our lifetimes.
Monkey = Good times.
Para bang High School.
"Monkeying around". Hahaha.:D
loved // Deens //
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I failed again.
I should stop expecting too much out of myself.
Putangina. Putangina.
Naiinis nanaman ako sa sarili ko.
loved // Deens //
Monday, July 24, 2006
Tayo'y sumayaw na parang di na tayo bibitaw..
That dance spoke volumes of the people we would become. We danced the night away, along with our half steps on that dance floor. I never felt so alive before.
Parang atin ang gabi..
There was nothing I couldn't do that night. I possessed the whole world, and it was composed of you, me, and the little square where we made into our little heaven. I can still remember it like it was yesterday.
I was the shining knight who could no wrong. You were the princess who seemed to flutter gracefully with every step. Pretty amazing for a few hours called a Graduation Ball.
If I could freeze a moment in time, and watch it all over again, that would definitely be the scene.
Perfect imperfection.
Parang atin ang gabi, parang wala tayong katabi, at tayo'y sumayaw, na parang di na tayo bibitaw..
Things like those don't come to every person.
What I'd give to have it back.
loved // Deens //
Friday, July 21, 2006
The separation between men and boys began today.
I hope I'm a man.
loved // Deens //
Thursday, July 20, 2006
It's weird but I need a break.
I'm doing nothing, but I need my friends. It's hard not being able to talk to them anymore. Sure, my classmates are there, but there's still a void only MK can fill.
Saturday parties aren't enough. I want a week off from school to be with you guys every single day.
If only it was possible, and if only I was that crazy.
Sometimes I can't help but think if life really was made to be this way.
Why do we all study our lives away?
I don't believe anything I'm doing right now matters. I don't believe my actions right now will affect the person I will become. I believe the future is completely different from the present.
And as I write this blog as a convenient break from analyzing this freakishly simple-but-terrible short story for my Heights interview, I wonder how in the world am I going to last on this earth.
It's scary, really.
loved // Deens //
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Dino -- [noun]: A person who has the ability to be invisible 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
loved // Deens //
Saya kahapon. Yun na yun.
It's funny how time just flies by so fast. Parang kahapon lang ako pumunta sa debut ni Bear, and then wham, it's her 19th already.
I just realized, after proms, graduation balls, and debuts, the next thing to go to is a wedding. Parang everything's so clustered, then suddenly, a decade passes before some friend or kabarkada gets married. Parang ang tagal ng hihintayin mo. Wala lang. They should make some sort of a middle celebration, so that you wouldn't have to wait a million years before the next time people would dress up and go to some fancy venue to gaze in awe and admiration at the celebrants.
Madaya rin, walang ganyan yung guys. Why shouldn't guy be allowed to celebrate their life? Where's the presentation? Or the great speeches? Or the symbolic gifts? It's replaced by a Vodka Cruiser in hand and a PS2 controller in another. I just find it odd that the 18th debut is such a grand event while the 21st whatever you call it is reduced to an inuman session, just like any other party.
But you know what, I couldn't ask for more really. These friends I have are enough to last lifetimes. I'd go through hell for you guys, and I'm sure you know that.
And I'm saying this for real. WALANG IWANAN. And I mean it.
Borax III na `to. + Pau, Nic, Rai, Ner, and Kring. :D
loved // Deens //
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Minsan feeling ko ang supot ng course ko. Hindi naman sa may problema yung course, o hindi quality education ang nakukuha ko. It's just that sometimes when I have nothing to do, I just sit down and wonder why college is so stressful for most of my classmates. I mean, they're our studying their butts off in ME, or MGT-H, or just simply dealing with the harrowing threat of Accounting, and here I am, twiddling my thumbs, waking up at 1 in the morning to do a paper which I probably will get a B or B+ in. The thing is, though that may be a good grade, parang hindi na ata magis ang battlecry ko.
Sometimes I can't help but think if I could have done better in a different course, like Comm, or Comm Tech. I guess I miss the boggled mindset, when all you can do with this specific lesson is just bang your notebook on your head in frustration. As violent as that may have seemed, I miss it. Terribly.
Hindi rin naman sa hindi bagay ang Psychology sa akin. I like Psychology. It's really really interesting for me. It's just that I like so many other things as well. Kaya yun, I still ponder about my decision to go into the course not really considered to be the course to be in if you want to rake in millions. I don't know, maybe it's just me.
Am I doing the more Ateneo is asking me of? Parang hindi kasi eh. I'm immersing myself in the co-curriculars, but sometimes, it's not enough for me.
Or maybe it is just me. I just want to matter to the outside world. I can't help but think that I'll be the only one stuck jobless while all my classmates are going to rise up the corporate ladder and I'll be left to pick up their scraps.
Sana talaga maging maayos future ko. And that's not just in the job scene.
It's amazing how a single gesture can just change your whole day. :)
loved // Deens //
Friday, July 07, 2006
Ayoko na pinangungunahan mo kami.
I can't believe you said that.
I'm so PISSED at you right now.
The day you let me go will be my HAPPIEST DAY ever.
loved // Deens //
Thursday, July 06, 2006
-If there is one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal.-
loved // Deens //
You scored as Murder. You would most likely kill someone, so watch out mr.anger management.
What crime would you most likely commit? created with QuizFarm.com |
loved // Deens //
Monday, July 03, 2006
I don't know how to tell you how much I miss you. Everytime we don't talk on the phone I just remember the times I always had you a call away.
I miss that.
But there's nothing I can do.
Wala naman talaga akong magagawa kasi nasa dorm ka. At alam kong dapat nagseseryoso na tayo kasi second year na, pero...
Miss na kita eh.
The spontaneous dates, the laughtrips, the conversations while having our 3 hour break...
The hugs.. The smiles.. Us.
I wish you were here. Terribly.
I know you're my blockmate and I'm with you every single class, it's different to be a classmate and a boyfriend. There's a part of me that just wants to hold your hand and experience the beautiful serenity of silence only you and I can share, and there's this other half that stays quiet and takes all your stress in and understands that you need every bit of patience because I know how much you're going through.
I still miss you though, and I don't think that's ever going to change.
It's 2 in the morning and I have an 830 class. I just finished writing down a Filipino paper, and I just had to say these things before I drift of to dreamland, one where I can be alone with you, but the reality is that there's just going to be too many things happening for us to even have 10 minutes of alone time.
Until then, I'll just keep saying I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
loved // Deens //